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Pat Metheny is one legend I've grown up with (he is the reason I go ga-ga over guys whose adept at guitarwork - 12 strings, no kidding!). My love for Jazz is attributed to this talented guy! (what can I say, I have a thing for charismatic silent type, and he's a Leo too!)

Do you know he is also the reason why kids my age back then found me 'wierd' for idolising "the guy with messy hair"; they could not understand the magic I saw in him, more so his work... Hmm, I just realised early on in my childhood, at the tender age of 5 at that, I've started displaying traits of a girl with strong views and individuality ;P

Anyway, view some clips and read more about the artist who is coming to town. Can't wait to hear all about it from Rye.

PS: Happy Birthday, aunt Sofie!

Duty With Honor

My will shall shape the future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man's doing but my own. I am the force; I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be lost in the maze. My choice; my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny. - Elaine Maxwell

After a brief chat with close pals (thank you for your care, love & support!), I am reminded of John D Rockefeller Junior's quote - "Think of giving not as a duty but as a privilege." Indeed, no matter how busy I am, I am tireless. The joy of spending time with those I love, even if it means little time for I, ME, & MYSELF, is irreplaceable.

Yes, at times I feel vulnerable, overwhelmed, almost helpless but isn't that a natural humanly instinct in response to life ramification? Someone once told me, "Step back, take a deep breath, assess the situation and prioritise; that would keep you sane." (thanks, LG). Stay focused on the purpose of your existence, zah!

In retrospect, after reading and watching the life of the late S Rajaratnam over the weekend, my life seems ordinary, almost insignificant (he has my deepest respect and admiration!). Moral of the story is - time is precious and what you do with it for the benefit of the majority - is what matters. I end this blog with a nice quote:

A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the "why" for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any "how". - Victor Frankl

A Special Talent

If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. - Henry David Thoreau

Today, I am feeling torn yet am so glad for this special talent as he is finally moving on in the direction of his passion. There's no one quite like him. No words could express how I feel so I shall stop here (as it is, the rainy weather has spoken on my behalf). Storm, I'll miss cuddly you...

With that, here's a tribute to my dear friend (you know who you are):

Le cher ami, dans si peu d'heure que je vous ai connu, une amitié plus profonde naît. Maintenant, vous serez des milles de distance. Si on avance avec confiance dans la direction de ses rêves, et d'efforts de vivre la vie où il a imaginée, il rencontrera un succès inattendu en heures communes. Par conséquent, ce n'est pas un triste au revoir, mais vous voit bientôt car je choisis de croire que nos chemins croiseront encore un certain jour. Salut et tout le meilleur. Vous serez manqué.

Nitta Sayuri

Our world is no more permanent than a wave rising on the ocean. Whatever our struggles and triumphs, however we may suffer them, all too soon they bleed into a wash, just like watery ink on paper.

After reading MOAG yet again, it revived my novice knowledge of Japanese culture during my 'study Japanese' days, which seemed decades ago.

Japan is indeed a place steep in culture; there's a ceremony for all occassion:
- when a geisha 'adopts' an apprentice geisha (tea ceremony)
- when a geisha offers her mizuage (serve ekubo to the selected men)
- when the victor of the mizuage bidding is announced (tea ceremony)
- when an apprentice geisha accepts a danna/sugar daddy (tea ceremony)

Do you know that there are many layers to a kimono? It includes koshimaki (hip wrap), undershirt (camisole), paddings, underrobe (ro during hot weather, hitoe during cold weather), silk collar sewn on to the kimono, kimono, obi (sash), tabi (socks)

Also, you can spot an apprentice geisha easily. She has a momoware hairstyle (its suggestive: split peach with red in the middle??!), a red silk collar (vs white by a geisha) with a colourful kimono, a dangling obi (sash) in darari knot at the back (vs drum knot by a geisha). A virgin apprentice geisha, after mizuage (offering virginity) changes her hairstyle by placing a red silk hairband (versus a patterned one) at the base of her bun - interesting visuals!

I did not realise that Japanese men find the neck and throat of a woman erotic, similar to westerners' view of a woman's legs (and I thought the eyes is the windows to your soul, no?)

I end this blog with an interesting quote from the book (can you believe it, I still have not seen the movie!):

I never seek to defeat the man I'm fighting; I seek to defeat his confidence. A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course of victory.

Inamorata...

Precious shared this with me some time back...

Without Love, days are:
"Moanday"
"Tearsday"
"Wasteday"
"Thirstday"
"Frightday"
"Shatterday"
"Sadday"...

So, fall in love! ;P

Afterthought: Am glad most of the guys in the office shared my personal, not to mention, practical view that the current generation has lost the true essence of V Day. It is now no more than a commercial sham that attracts, well, the easily conned, ha! Don't get us wrong... this is not a vent (actually, I don't celebrate V day). Tim quoted that if everyone buys chocs/flowers on this day, how can the recipient be anyone more special than his/her next neighbour? Act of love/sacrifice should be done sincerely everyday... hmmm... lucky wife of his. And what do you know, I got a Roche flower at that! ;P

Crap vs Crab!

Argument is the worst sort of conversation. - Jonathan Swift

Crappy day to begin with but I know that I'm not easily bothered with 'flies buzzing around me'. "Fear is not the natural state of civilized people." Aptly put by Aung San Suu Kyi (this is one woman I have high regards for). And "Rudeness is a weak imitation of strength". Hmmm, that reminds me of another saying, "Rights that do not flow from duty well performed are not worth having." Very true!

Jo was wondering how come I appeared calm in the midst of a 'volcanic eruption'. For one, "there is nothing stronger in the world than gentleness". I learnt that from a dear friend. Sometimes, the most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said. In this case, it was the pressure to bring the dough in, not so much of a tardy work. For another, I am glad that Jo stood up for us. Hence, the need for me to say nothing coz what was said was all good. "United we stand, divided we fall, eh?"...

Lucky for me, everyone loved the cookies I made. Also, I had a housewarming party to attend to (time to de-stress!). The cheese crab was yummy (my mind was running through the list of possible ingredients that go into making the award winning crab, hmm time to experiment in the kitchen!). Besides the food, Ryan's home was cozy - a modern resort feel with simple lines; didn't have my camera with me, darn! Oh well, glad he liked the gift. End this blog with a song from U2...

I'm not afraid of anything in this world
There's nothing you can throw at me that I haven't already heard
I'm just trying to find a decent melody
A song that I can sing in my own company...

And if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if your way should falter
Along the stony pass
It's just a moment
This time will pass

Celebrations

Accept the things to which fate binds you and
Love the people with whom fate brings you together
But do so with all your heart. - by Marcus Aurelius

Original Sins seems to be THE PLACE for celebrations - anniversaries, birthdays, reunions, etc.

There was a moment of quiet reflection, not that it was awkward; I gazed at the table outside, reminiscing the past. Yes, memories, especially good ones, are meant to be treasured regardless if the outcome led to feelings of hurt (no regrets).

There is no point in 'escapism'; They say, "You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel." At the end of the day, "always look at what you have left instead of what you have lost", right?

Anyway, enough about me! Its Rye's special day; was glad to be a part of it (hmm was hoping to see lil Aria and those beautiful eyes; got a gift for her as well! perhaps next time). To the birthday boy, "Here's a toast your birthday brings. A slew of happy splendid things. With added years of health and love. In richest blessings from above."

I end my blog with the following "Today in History", enjoy:

7 February 1979:
R.E.G.Y is born.
Pink Floyd premiered their live version of "The Wall" in Los Angeles.

7 February 1976:
Toronto Maple Leaf, Darryl Sittler scores NHL record 10 pts (6 goals).

7 February 1964:
The Beatles arrives in New York & Beatle Mania hits Kennedy Airport.

7 February 1855:
Cowboy celebrity Charles Siringo, one of the most famous contemporary chroniclers of the cowboy life, is born in Matagorda County, Texas.

7 February 1775:
Benjamin Franklin publishes “An Imaginary Speech” in defense of American courage.

In Touch...

Those truly linked don't need correspondence. When they meet again after years apart, their friendship is as true as ever - Deng M.D.

Today, I had the instinctive feeling to talk to Yaz and truth be told, Kin is pregnant; baby is due this July (Yaz's birthday month!). I know how much he wants one, after having two boys. Took the opportunity to ask how he and family are doing? Glad to hear all is fine.

Its been awhile since we kept in touch; what a relief to know that the feelings we have, as friends, are still intact. That is our special bond. Congratulated him on his NY award for the recent Channel News Asia program (ok its not new, it was in 2004 but better late than never, eh).

Afterthought: "Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived. Hmm, suddenly My Best Friend's Wedding soundtrack comes to mind..."

Someday when I'm awfully low
When the world is cold
I feel a glow just thinking of you
And the way you look tonight.

Oh, but you're lovely with your smile so warm
And your cheek so soft
There is nothing for me to love you
And the way you look tonight

With each word your tenderness grows
Tearing my fear apart
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose
touches my foolish heart

Lovely, never ever change
Keep that breathless charr
Won't you please arrange it? 'Cause I love you
Just the way you look tonight...

Memoirs

My world is forbidden as it is fragile;
Without its mysteries, it cannot survive.
Not free to love, or pursue my own destiny;
Yet never could I forget a moment of unexpected kindness.
A memory that shimmers like a mirage;
A moment that sustains through sufferings...

Reading the book yet again and hope to catch the movie. However, I suspect that movies do not always do justice to the exquisite and magnificent writing of authors such as Arthur Golden...hmm!

To a certain degree, Arthur Golden captured the realism of life (tale of unrequited love, and life struggle) - you don't always get what you want... here comes the realisation that every part of life moments, good and bad, are small pieces of puzzle that completes you.

Life moments teach us to strengthen our resolve, to have patience and keep the faith. "What will happen to us now?" In the words of Brad Pitt in Meet Joe Black, "It'll come to us...". Stay tuned for my verdict of the movie, Memoirs of a Geisha! I'll end this blog with a quote shared by a colleague... aptly said (thanks, SC!):

Success is not final, failure is not fatal;
It is the courage to continue that counts

Great Beginnings...

The non-stop downpour did not seem to squash the enthusiasm we (nuclear family) have as we busy ourselves in anticipation of my cousin's wedding the next two weeks. To add to the joyous mood, Gram's RBC has improved (with God's grace, the chemo is working!), Alhamdulillah!

13 Jan 2006 (Friday) : Almost missed the train due for Kluang at 8.30am, peak hour traffic, ha! Called grams to inform her that I have arrived safely around 10.15 am (you know how old folks worry over 'nothing'; actually she was concerned that I was running a slight fever and have not fully recovered from my runny nose). Reached aunt B's place and started 'cracking' on work; Slept at 12.30am. Felt a sense of achievement although my joints and back almost gave way :P

14 Jan 2006 (Saturday) : Up by 5.30am, and with God's will, the sun came out to greet the joyful day. Worked until it was time for the solemnisation ceremony (Grams arrived at the right time!). It was a heart-wrenching moment as tears silently trickled down my face as I recorded (was the delegated amateur video camera-woman; having a steady hand to record the joyous occassion resulted in a stiff neck and back, geez) the rights of my cousin being transferred from her father to her husband...

It must have been hard for anyone who has lived under the wings of her family all her lifetime and then to be 'given away' to a 'stranger' whom she had known for a mere 5 years and from this day onwards; her life is now under her husband's responsibility. It didn't help matters that she is very tight with her parents, being the youngest of 2 children.

15 Jan 2006 (Sunday) : Dejavu - A and younger brother reminded me of my long lost best friend, Yazz... Wonder how is he and family now... What happened to us, you may ask? Its a story that renders another blog of its own! Anyway, today the bride and groom were presented to everyone as the newly weds. It was also a time to meet long lost relatives for a catch up session over buffet lunch.

Now the pressure is really on, "When is your turn?" could be heard everywhere and 'concerned' relatives asked whose next in line (at this point, I was in 'shutdown mode') as cousins and aunts alike were busying themselves discussing about matchmaking me with so and so, etc ... suddenly the trees started looking very interesting as I willed myself to be lost in my own world as I went around capturing happy moments of the happy couple, ha! Uncle Saz sent us home and we reached SG via Tuas Checkpoint by 6pm, did the laundry (amidst gram's nagging, "Go and rest! You got to work tomorrow) ... What a great weekend...

20 Jan 2006 (Friday) : Grandpa sent grams and I to the main road to wait for Uncle B to fetch us around 9am (ain't he the sweetest, man of action hmm!). The coastal ride was hilly and poor cousin Ann vomitted in the car due to motion sickness (I almost joined her). Pittstop to clean up and clear the air... Reached Kuantan around 6pm, checked in and rested. Called grams to tell him we reached our destination safe and sound. Highlight of the day - food, yum!

21 Jan 2006 (Saturday) : Reached the groom's place around 10am, whisked to the waiting area for the arrival of the Sultan of Pahang and his royal family. He came at 1pm, stopped by and spoke to us before heading to his seat. After he left, I explored the mansion with my camera amidst stares and greeting from curious men (guess they are not used to Singaporean women). Highlight of the day - the breathtaking view of the mansion, facing the beach... missed diving (Royalty? Nah...at the end of the day, the Sultan is also human).

22 Jan 2006 (Sunday) : Long drive back home; this time we took a different route via Segamat. Did more pittstops (had lekor, nasi dagang, chendol, mini chocs etc along the way) Even dropped by Kluang for a good rest before heading home. Reached Singapore around 8pm (no jam at Tuas link!)

View more pictures of the happy couple at Kluang & Kuantan!

Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal - Louis K. Anspacher

At First Sight

"Sometimes the same emotion that breaks your heart is the very one that will heal it..."

How true! The minute I read the flap of this book, I instinctively knew it would be a great read:

"How well do we really know the ones we love? How do we handle the inevitable doubts, fears concerning parenthood, and stumbling blocks that are sometimes placed in our way?

Continuing the story of the bestselling True Believer, this novel captures all the heartbreak, tension, romance and surprises of those who are newly wed. An astonishing tale about the love between a man and a woman and between a parent and a child, AT FIRST SIGHT is about endings that bring new beginnings . . . tragedies that lead to unexpected joy . . . and, most of all, the magic of everlasting love."

Verdict:
Love it! I didn't expect such ending... felt a pang of sadness and vulnerability at the tail-end... my heart went out to Jeremy and Claire (more so Claire). A must read!

Learnt the following:

• Amniotic Band Syndrome
• Amniotic Fluid Embolism
• Braxton-Hicks Contractions

Share with you some of my fave extract from the book:

"...Life has a tendency to throw curve balls when you least expect them. Every couple has ups and downs, every couple argues, and that's the thing - you're a couple, and couples can't function without trust."

"I know men. Let me tell you: They can be mad or frustrated, worried about work or life, but in the end, they're pretty simple to figure out if you know what makes them tick. One of it is an almost desperate need to feel appreciated and admired... A man promises to do the things to keep you happy in the hopes that you too will do the things that keep him happy."

Afterthought: Most couples have the impression that marriage is a fairy tale ending... They are almost right, just that it ends there, full stop! In reality, with marriage comes shared responsibilities and there is a need to have open communication, strong dedication and trust to keep both parties (and family) happy... All sorts of 'First-time' experiences that will enrich your life. Funny that this comes from single me but the truth is, I have observed and gained much insights from the married life (trials, tribulations, joy & sorrows) of grams', aunts', uncles', and close pals. Thanks for sharing, folks :)

Family Matters

Was so blessed to be a part of this great seminar organised by Muhammadiyah recently. Indeed, I took away alot of useful advise, not so much to prepare myself to be a the best parent ever for my future kids, rather to understand the challenges, the root causes (not just the symptoms) and plausible solutions towards maintaining family harmony.

On hindsight, I am a follower of the talented Ustaz Dr. Mohd Asri. Its not so much of his looks (actually he's not bad at all, married... oops! Next?), rather his in-depth knowledge, intelligence and above all, his genuine concern for the ummah and charisma reflected via his presentation that captures my heart and set my mind thinking...

The 2005 statistics appalled me:

• 80,000 Malay-Muslims have no islamic education
• 2,000 divorces in a year
• Out of 2 cases of pre-marital sex, 1 is a Malay-Muslim
• 30% of which went through abortion
• 40% of which contracted STDs

What will be the future of our community in Singapore? According to the speakers, the root cause of these symptoms are parents. And the solution is simple - keep to your religion as God has said, "I have perfected for you your religion" i.e. the way of life. The lack of dedication to their religion will ultimately bring the downfall of their family, resulting in a domino effect throughout their future generation.

A holistic approach was proposed:

• Nurturer i.e. parents (knowledge, communication, role model)
• Curriculum to nurture kids (priority, approach, openness)
• Conducive environment (attention, concern, exposure)

Bottomline, parents must:

• Make the effort towards improvement (never give up trying)
• Pray consistently (keep you close to God)
• Have faith (remember God and he'll be closer than your jugular vein)

In retrospect, the situation I faced back at home before the divorce of my parents made me realised the importance of finding a suitable husband, the head of the household. It is a challenge being a good parent, what more a good Muslim parent at that. In this era, in the midst of the hustle and bustle of daily stresses in life, there is a need to focus on a quality balance between work and family. Above all a strong dedication towards God first, and the rest will fall into place...

Life on earth is but a mere 'one and a half hours'. What you invest in that period in life will make or break your position in God's eyes. There is no compulsion in the religion; Choose wisely...

The General Theory on Love...

Thanks to Rye for this splendid read, "The General Theory on Love". Especially like page 206 onwards... Yes, there is a clear distinction between "In love" and "Loving" (I personally prefer the latter - everlasting).

Ever wondered why people hug each other on departures or arrivals? According to the book, "this style of embrace contains silent evidence of attachment: an imposed separation; or the threat of one, reflexively makes people want to re-establish skin-to-skin contact". Hmm...

Another interesting finding, "A person who lacks a stable centre (love) feels an urgent need to fill the gap - he needs something to orient himself as he navigates the world. Since he cannot use the limbic tools that penetrate the core of self and others, he will look to external cues - those he can be sure about. Thwarted attachment and limbic disconnection thus encourage superficiality and narcissism. People who cannot see content must settle for appearances. They will cling to the image with the desperation appropriate to those who lack an alternative" Have the modern culture gone shallow?

Anyway, had a good time shopping, dinner and making a new friend at that with him previously. Am also glad to know someone would "love me" (figure of speech) for, of all things, hair conditioners... rare find, mind you!

Learnt interesting concepts:

• Asperger's syndrome
• Hippocampus
• Korsakoff's syndrome

Fave quotes from the book:
"Every attribute confers a matching vulnerability; each heroic strength finds its mirror image in a tragic flaw" (note: aptly said, we gain strength with every setback)

"The simple equation of love. Like this: Relationship lives on time. They devour it in the way that bees feed on pollen: with an unbending singularity of purpose and no possibility of compromise or substitution. Relatedness is a physiological process that, like digestion or bone growth, admits no plausible acceleration. And so the skills of becoming and remaining attuned to another's emotional rythm requires a solid investment of years. Every new second of togetherness re-establishes the terms of a relationship." (note: talk about vested interest)

"Loving is mutuality; a synchronous attunement and modulation, of knowing the other, derives from intimacy, the prolonged and detailed surveillance of a foreign soul. It is a reciprocal physiologic influence, it entails a deeper and more literal connection."

"The physiology of love is no barter. Love is simultaneous mutual regulation, wherein each person meets the needs of the other, because neither can provide for his own. Such a relationship is not 50-50; its 100-100... within reciprocity, both thrive. For those who attain it, the benefits of deep attachment are powerful... they are resilient to the stresses of daily life, or even to those of extraordinary circumstance... Withholding reciprocation cripples a healthy partner's ability to nourish him; it poisons the well from which she draws the sustenance she means to give... Love cannot be extracted, commanded, demanded, or wheedled. It can only be given."

Afterthoughts:
I am glad that the authors et. al concluded that we demand too much if we expect science to single-handedly define and lay bare the human soul. Indeed, certain things are beyond explanation, that's the beauty of the human heart and mind. If we are similar to animals, aren't we 'humiliating' God's creation to a certain degree..? So for the wise, heed their hearts and draw strength from it. Get a mutually benefiting spouse and raise your children with love as it is and will always be the best insurance against the despair for which alot of social problems are a result of the lack of it...

Whoso loves, believes in the impossible - Elizabeth Barett Browning
When you love, you wish to do things for. You wish to sacrifice for. You wish to serve - Ernest Hemingway

Gifts & Mistletoe...?

Friday 23 Dec 2005:

Went to buy the prizes for the corporate party game session. Also, watched "The Polar Express" over lunch (the visuals was incredibly real!). Thanks to Ryan for the cute card, Sid for remembering me on her trip to Hong Kong, TT for the lovely chocs (its not Royce, but its the thought that counts!), everyone for their well wishes and the 'mystery guy' for the lovely choc cookies, hmm... Mikko dropped by and just love the way he quipped, with his face full of concentration at that, "Auntie Azzah, can mummy go home now...?"

So, what have I learnt through out my one year here? The gift of friendship and the realisation that its not all bad where I am. Of course, the grass always looks greener on the other side... you just need to take a microscope to zoom in on the details to learn the truth... Aptly said, KS ;)

PS: Missing my dear pals, you know who you are...

Hopes for 2006:To live content with small means;
To seek elegance rather than luxury,
And refinement rather than fashion;
To be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not, rich;
To listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart;
To study hard; to think quietly, act frankly,
Talk gently, await occasions, hurry never;
In a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious,
Grow up through the common
This is my symphony - William Henry Channing

Canada Beckons...

Wednesday 21 Dec 2005:
Funny how, sometimes, you dream of a situation and then it 'replays' right in front of your eyes - premonition? Perhaps. Time: 5.10AM. Felt a wee bit awkward for not 'reciprocating' his outstretched arms for a farewell hug. For the love of God, I had to refrain from doing so (its not permissible in Islam, hope he understands).

Anyway, I'll pray that he has a safe journey to and fro Canada and that he will spend quality time with family and friends over the festive season. Can't wait to view the pictures! It would have been lovely if C actually bid him farewell...

In retrospect, I really pull my hats off to those who travel the world for work and actually take the time to travel half the globe to be with family and friends during special occassions; It takes a lot of discipline to do so.

I've always have this inkling feeling, a desire to explore the world, work elsewhere and gain the experience while learning a different culture and appreciating God's gift of diverse humanity or retire in a foreign land by leading a simple yet quality life... wishful thinking? Nothing is impossible...

PS: Hope he is not anywhere near the Toronto incident...

Gift suggestions (or for any other day):
To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect. - Oren Arnold

"Love is in the Air"

What an exceptionally special week, bustling with activities, indeed!

Saturday 17 Dec 2005:
It just dawned on me that my aunts and grams have my welfare at heart - was visibly touched. If it means retreating in silence, for the love of my family, so be it. I will learn to appreciate this life lesson in due course, am sure. Always remember, "Rudeness is a weak imitation of strength... There is nothing stronger in the world than gentleness."

Sunday 18 Dec 2005:
Verdict post my baking session: The muffin is a better bet. Will experiment with different nuts and more chocolate (could hear gram saying, "It taste a little too chocolaty..." What can I say, I simply love chocolates!). Coincidentally, it gave me the opportunity to think through all that has happened as I go about ensuring the success of my baking mission. Yeah, I know am feeling mental about the whole episode...

Monday 19 Dec 2005:
"I shall bring you LOVE!" quoted Jo just a few days back and now I have in my hand, Love by Toni Morrison. Am halfway through this book (read this book to and fro work). Toni's refined writing style leaves no stones unturned, as she portrays the vulnerability of the human nature, men and women alike, crying and singing out their weaknesses and strengths in rotating perspectives.

Tuesday 20 Dec 2005:
Aunt Sal and cousins came to pay grams a visit. Glad everyone love the choc cake and muffins. Awesomely delicious, eh?! Hmm 'business prospect' looks good, ahem... At the end of it all, making people happy keeps me happy; I do the things I do not because I want people to love me, but more so I do it for the love of God. Had an early night in anticipation of tomorrow's wake up call at 3AM...

Whew, what a load of LOVE for one blog... overwhelmed!

Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings. - Anais Nin

Every Life Is Like a Snowflake...

Verdict of Snow by Orhan Pamuk: slow-paced with an exquisite ending. You need loads of patience to attain the well-crafted conclusion... Below are extracts from the book, enjoy:

Learnt about Snow Formation (Subhan-Allah; God is Great!):
"One of his discoveries was that once a six-pronged snowflake crystallises it takes between eight and ten minutes for it to fall through the sky, lose its original shape and vanish. When, with further enquiry, he discovered that the form of each snowflake is determined also by the temperature, the direction and strength of the wind, the altitude of the cloud, and any number of other mysterious forces..."

Learnt about Human Nature (talk about the use of metaphor - brilliant!):
"... Ka decided that snowflakes have much in common with people... Snowflake mapped out the spiritual course of every person who had ever lived... Ka was convinced that every life is like a snowflake: individual existences might look identical from afar, but to understand one’s own eternally mysterious uniqueness one had to plot the mysteries of one’s own snowflake.”

Learnt about Turkish Letters (any cute Turks out there, hello?):
"Most Turkish letters are pronounced as in English. The exceptions are as follows:
c - sounds like the 'j' in jelly
ς - sounds like the 'ch' in chill
ğ - silent letter that lengthens the preceding vowel
1 - sounds like the 'u' in cranium
ö - sounds like the ‘ew’ in jewel
ş - sounds like the ‘sh’ in sheep
ű - sounds like the first ‘u’ in usual"

"This is no simple reform. It really is a revolution. Sex and race because they are easy and visible differences have been the primary ways of organizing human beings into superior and inferior groups and into the cheap labour in which this system still depends. We are talking about a society in which there will be no roles other than those chosen or those earned. We are really talking about humanism." - Gloria Steinem

Afterthought from me: Is there a real need for humanism when in the eyes of God, the creator of mankind, we are all equal? What separates some from the rest is their sincere faith that this short life on earth has a strong purpose - the belief in oneness of God, whom we will all return to in the end...

A case of a False Alarm...?

My state of mind (AM):
The condition of my sis-in-law worries me - she is not eating well, running a fever, could not leave th bed etc. I am unsure if the verdict of her follow-up kidney/liver test is final or should we get a second opinion? Could it be a case of dengue? Could it be that she is homesick? Or is she just expecting her first child? Alot of questions; no answers... This suspense is literally 'killing me'...

My state of mind (PM):
Alhamdulillah! Its another case of a false alarm. She went to the doctor's and it was confirmed that her immune system was reacting to the injection she took as part of her medical examination for her Permanent Residence status. At least I could heave a sigh of relief that she is going to be alright. Sometimes, my conscience pricks on me for not spending more time with her... must put to practice the advice of a dear friend, "Quality life - work should not be at the top of your priority list." Just pray hard my employer doesn't get to read this...

The true way to render ourselves happy is to love our work and find in it our pleasure. - Francoise De Motteville

It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat. (From a speech given in Paris at the Sorbonne in 1910) - Theodore Roosevelt

Reading - Food for the Soul

Jaded! Need to enrich my mind and soul soon. Seems like I have not read a decent book for ages!

Snow:
I friend lent me "Snow" by Orhan Pamuk. At first glance, it seems to revolve around 'dirty politics'. Slowly, it unravels the reality of humanity and survival of an oppressed state. Preliminary verdict - a promising read although not really my cup of tea; I think My Name is Red is better (but I've just read the first few chapters... patience).

In addition, I am one who has a penchant for foreign language... somehow find the learning of a new foreign language appealing (when I was young, I contemplated becoming an Interpreter - err no, not the likes of Nicole Kidman as in the movie, I wish, ha!) hence getting the opportunity to learn a little bit of Kurdish language from the book helps keep me going...

Nonetheless, below are books that suit my fancy more:-

At First Sight:
Being a fan of Nicholas Sparks, I hope to grab his latest novel, "At First Sight", asap! This a follow-up sequel of "True Believer" and did I ever tell you that the character, Jeremy Marsh, is a 'hunk'?! ;P

Blow Fly/Trace/Predator:
I've always loved any intelligent thriller by Patricia Cornwell. Unlike Dan Brown, who could potentially be a one-hit man (not literally of course, just that his best novel is ONLY Da Vinci's Code.. the rest, as I read them, are ... blah!), Patricia's writing is impecable. Her books never fail to keep the adrenaline pumping. A must buy! (and I'm not even getting commission for this free endorsement, folks!) ;)

God, I need to find time to vist my 'old pals' - Borders, Kinokuniya, MPH or Times to grab these books, while stock last ...

On this day, I thee wed...

Please join me to toast YN & R - blessed is this beautiful couple who join hands and hearts to unite in lawful matrimony.

Words could not express how proud I am to be a part of this joyous occassion, to see off my closest pal to a well-deserving and responsible guy. I witnessed her walking down the aisle in a sweet pastel green dress, a bouquet of pink roses in her hand with "Valentine" serenading in the background. Behind her sweet smile, laid eyes soft and misty... perhaps in anticipation of welcoming a new chapter in her life.

The lunch wedding reception at the Mandai Orchid Garden was equally splendid with the breathtaking view of the colourful orchid garden, good food on top of the good company of close pals. It was a blast!

Upon reflection, during the exchange of vows, flashbacks of my past ran through my mind of what could have been and I realised that God is great. I was glad that I did not make a hasty decision back then. Without fail, I will give my all in love - that is just me. At the same time, I know when to take a step back and decide if this is the kind of life I want for me and my future kids.

Right now, I am just happy flying solo (its not easy 'screening' off the persistent pressure from close pals and family to matchmake me or get me hitched, mind you!) ... let God decide on who is deserving of me, the time will come... so have patience, everyone :)

Enough about me. Today is YN's special day so I end this blog with the following quotes:

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." - Lao Tzu

"If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand." - Ryan